A day in my life

When I realized I needed to do something about my weight and I wrote how it all happened I would have ever guessed I'd be here 13 months later and still battling. Every day I work on integrating the little changes into my lifestyle which will help me be an overall healthy, happy mommy.

This weekend I will be competing in the Warrior Dash and my schedule is so hectic right now. The positive for competing in this event is that it has kept me busy. In looking at my day I cannot comprehend how I do this each and every day....Here's a look at my daily routine (when my husband is out of town).

4:45 am: Wake up
4:50-6:00 am: Work out at home (Zumba, Elliptical, Just Dance, etc.)
6:00 am: Shower, get dressed, do hair, and makeup
6:30 am: Myles walks into the room ( make sure he goes potty, get out his clothes, get him dressed, put on Disney)
6:45 am: Get Joel out of crib. Get dressed and take to kitchen. Turn on Disney give cereal and milk to boys.
6:50 am: Make lunch, put away dishes, do dishes from night before, etc.
7:05 am: OUT the door, any later and I am late for work!
7:40 am: Drop off boys at Daycare
8:00 am: Arrive to work
8-5 pm: Too much to account for during the day, but usually 3-4 meetings/appts. & lunch at my desk
5:00 pm: Leave work
5:30 pm: Pick up kiddos
6:05 pm: Arrive Home
6:10 pm: Cook Dinner! May take 20-30 minutes, can be prepped as fast as 4 minutes; last night I made ham/cheese tortilla roll ups, carrots & ranch, and 1/2 banana each! Voila- 4 min dinner :-)
6:45 pm: BATH Time. Usually I can bathe both boys at the same time, but lately we are having some new issues with pee pee discovery from Joel and Myles- Great! Just what I needed! Also, an argument ensues if I put Joel into the bath before Myles....
7:00 pm: Joel Bed Time- sing Three Little Birds
7:05 pm: Myles gets ONE TV show- Caillou or Special Agent Oso usually (I sometimes jump onto the elliptical here if I went out to lunch that day)
7:35 pm: 2 stories (Monster's University and Cory the Combine- ALWAYS those 2 stories) then about a million kisses.
8:00 pm: Laundry, cleaning, etc. Maybe some TV time.
9:30 pm: Go to Bed

Next day, wake up and do it all over again! Thankfully, my hubby isn't gone all the time. It's a rough week. It's been a tough month. With Wedding date looming and the dress hanging on my closet door I don't have time to be tired. I actually feel like I have MORE energy lately. Is that weird?

IT FITS!!

Again, 13 months ago this schedule would have been not only unlikely for me, but impossible! Making little changes and setting goals is helping me. It's still not easy, every day is a battle, but I am getting better. And happier, too :-) Oh and look what I put on this morning....totally WORTH IT!

Image Distortion- too skinny, too fat, or just right?

I remember when I was 17, my parents saved enough money to let me go to Europe for my Graduation gift. (Thanks, Dad and Mom!) There's a picture of me in my photo album from that trip, (YES, that was when we actually printed out pictures and created an entire book for an event) and I remember thinking when I looked at it, "Wow. I look fat." There I was in a bikini, at age 17 and I weighed 135 lbs. I Look fat??? Are you kidding me? Part of me wishes I would have known that I was then the thinnest I would be for the next 18 years....

However, it got me thinking. When I was gaining weight through my 20's, it never seemed as bad as it was. Every photo taken of me, I would notice the pooch of my stomach or the rolls over the side of my pants. I always thought "Ugh. I look fat." It didn't matter if I was 135 lbs or 275 lbs pregnant. I always looked big in my mind. So was it since I always looked fat, why didn't I realize how BIG I was truly getting? Did I have a distorted image of how I really looked?

I didn't put on 115 lbs over just a few years. It took 15 years for me to add that to my frame. WHY didn't I see it? Was it so gradual that I never noticed it? Cause let me tell you, I look back now at that photo of me when I was 17 and think, "DAMN! I look GOOOOOD." Why wasn't I happy then?

Even worse and I hate to admit this, but there have been instances I have been secretly happy when other people I knew gained weight. Other times I was extremely jealous of people who lost weight, wishing it were me. Isn't that AWFUL? People have told me as I continue to lose weight, other people will tell me. "You look too thin" or "You need to stop losing weight". Is that their jealousy? Is it their insecurities? Did I ever say that to someone? Surely, there's gotta be some part of me who can just be happy?

Thinking back, there's has never been a time in my life when I have been 100% happy with my weight. Isn't that sad? I've always wanted to look better or be thinner. I truly want to be happy with myself and there's a part of me that is fearful I may never be satisfied with my appearance. However, I am certainly on my way and trying. Right now, I look at pictures, like one of me taken last week at a work even and think, "I look better, but I am not there....yet". This whole process of losing weight is HARD, it's REALLY hard. It's frustrating and it's a daily battle to make the right choices. All my little changes are adding up and they're making me a different person. It just takes time.

It's already been 1 year. A year of life change and realizations. I'm happier now, but not completely satisfied. As my weight loss has slowed down, I have picked up my workouts. I've been doing 3 times per week the last month and this week I've added a Wed workout. Doing Just Dance - Greatest Hits. It's incredible! It's the workout of Zumba but to really fun songs! I was definitely jamming to "I've got the Power" by Snap. Very fun! I highly recommend.

Here's hoping you look in the mirror today and like what you see, but if you don't, do something about it. Don't blame others, don't get jealous, don't start a journey for anyone, but do it for YOU. Let's take these distorted images away, replace them with a smiling face, and get back to, "DAMN, I look GOOOOOD!"

Touching....

A friend of mine posted this to Facebook. It's from a blog and I don't know who wrote it, but I feel it's well written and amazing. Wanted to share:

Posted on May 11, 2013 by admin

The Invisible Mother

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’

Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? 

Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’

Some days I’m a crystal ball; ‘Where’s my other sock? Where’s my phone?, What’s for dinner?’

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, and she’s gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: ‘With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’

In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. 

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’ 

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was Almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.
No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. 

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he’d say, ‘You’re gonna love it there…’ 

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

—Anonymous

Making changes- It's the Final Countdown!

Da da da da, da da da da da da ....If you know the song  or if you are an Arrested Development fan (it's GOB's entry music). Hard to sing or illustrate music on a blog.

Wedding is T minus 5 weeks away. I am averaging 1.4 lbs lost per week. This only leaves me 5 weeks. That would = 7 lbs. Making my new total lost 82.2 lbs. I've decided to step it up.

I'm not sure if I mentioned but while in Vegas, I bought my dress for the wedding. I bought it a size smaller than I am now. It's a size 10! It was my initial goal to buy a dress from Cache that was a size 10 (I changed it to 8 at one point, but my original goal was a 10). SO, needless to say I have the size 10 hanging in my closet as I type.

So here's how I am going to accomplish this:

1. Scheduling my activity. I've put calendar invites onto my phone for Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I never ignore meetings or anything on my calendar, so it makes me motivated to complete them.

2. Set my alarm and MAKE SURE I get up. My alarm goes off at 5:10 am on Tue and Thu. If I don't get up right away, I will snuggle back into my warm bed and sleep for another hour. By making sure I am in bed by 10 pm .This gets me a solid 7 hours of sleep and I have been getting up without too much inner battle. Besides, my mind usually starts racing and I feel guilty if I try to go back to sleep. I also hung my dress where I see it lying in bed and it reminds me "GET OUT OF BED! You have to wear me in a few weeks."

3. Vary My activity. Keep 100% on my Active Link. My goal is 5 points per day. Weekly is 35. I am usually close. My workouts include:

Zumba: My goal is to do 2 - 45 minute sessions a week and then 1- 20 minute session. Sometimes Myles wakes up early and I have to cut my workout short. Sometimes, I just don't feel like doing it, to be honest! I wrap it up and 20 minutes and call that at least I did something day!

Eliptical: I jump on the elliptical when I am having a hard time being motivated. It's also an awesome time to watch shows on my DVR which my husband refuses to watch. Such as Master Chef or Drop Dead Diva. Usually I am into the show and they are about 50 minutes without commercials, so I don't stop until they're over.

Free Weights: Ok, so I am a wimp. I've only been using 5 or 8 lb weights. Again, something is better than nothing. I do side bends, tricep curls, bicep curls, and over the head stuff. My arms aren't getting buff per se, but a little more toned. People keep telling me to do Push Ups. I am not good at those....

4. Sticking to my points. As I've continued to lose weight, what was once easy to eat 35 points a day, has now come to 27 points per day. It doesn't seem like much at 8 points per day, but that is equivalent to almost another meal. Counting every point is crucial. If I "forget" to add something to my daily tracker, I am only hurting myself. I have to remind myself of that....

Making these little changes are all helping me towards getting into this dress. I am working on more Goals- as my dad tells me, "A Goal is just a dream with a timeline." And since he started all of this with his wisdom when I was younger I'll keep listening to him. Thanks, Daddy!

What weighs 75 lbs? Now that I'm 75 lbs less

I completely stole this from another blog, but I think it is fitting as I am now 75 lbs. lighter.... That's right! Milestone #4 celebrated at Weight Watchers. They are as follows

#1:  10% lost
#2: 25 lbs lost
#3: 50 lbs lost
#4: 75 lbs lost

1) Average Alaskan Malamute Husky Dog
2) Average Weight of 11 year old boy
3) 100 cans of Beer
4) 12 1/2 red bricks
5) 300 Sticks of Butter (which I've probably avoided eating in the last year!)

Now onto my next milestone #5: 100 lbs!

I. Am. So. Sore....

Up at the top!

Hiking? Sure, let's go hiking. 4 words I never would have thought would be coming out of my mouth on a beautiful Saturday morning. After 35 minutes of packing sunscreen, extra changes of clothing, 2 pb & j sandwiches, carrots, grapes, waters, and juice we were on our way. We stopped at Subway and got parent sandwiches, His- Seafood club or something (lots of mayo)& Mine- Turkey Bacon Avocado- 10 points. We settled into a picnic area at Lapham Peak. We ate our lunch quickly, but peacefully and without incident. Then we started to climb....Here we are at the top and again at the bottom.

The stairs weren't too bad- it was the fact I had a 3.5 year old climbing up these monstrous stairs and all I could see was him slipping and falling. Mommy had some pretty severe anxiety.... After we finished the stairs, we went to a nice, easy trail that had a lot of shade. It was only about 2 miles, but it felt longer. We had our little buggy and we finally got an exhausted Myles (my 3.5 yr old) to ride with his brother instead of walking. 

A long way up with little guys.

After the hike, we were pretty tired, so we went home and played outside until it was dark. I grilled up some steaks and baked potatoes. There was a special on Beef Tenderloin so I bought one. The best thing about a good Beef Tenderloin is it's simple to control the amount of filet you eat. I cut off the first piece and weighed it on my scale- 6.5 oz (Daddy's steak), next piece 5.0 oz (my piece- ends up around 3 oz cooked- 7 pts.) and a 4 oz for Myles. I used my handy dandy Weight Watcher Oil Sprayer which is perfect for the grill! Overall, a delicious meal accompanied by a side salad loaded with veggies. It felt like we were having a fancy restaurant meal at home- for WAY cheaper and WAY less points! Love this grilling weather!

So, you'd think a hike on Saturday would be enough for me, no, it wasn't. Upon waking on Sunday I wasn't feeling sore yet. I decided after I put the little guy down, I'd do some gardening. I pulled weeds for about 2 hours. Bending down, standing up, bending down, standing up. Oh Boy, I am feeling  it today!

Yikes! I can hardly move. You know that feeling where you feel like you are 100 years old. Can't even sit on the toilet without saying "OUCH"? That's me today....

One Year Ago....

Joel was 3 weeks old here- I was more than 250 lbs.

One Year Ago, my son was 6 weeks old.
Today, he is 13 months and walking all over the place.

One Year Ago, my weight tipped the scales at 250.6 lbs.
Today, I weigh 175.4 pounds. (I got this news at my weigh in! Get my award next week)

One Year Ago, I ate fast food 3-4 times a week.
Today, I have not had any fast food since 7/13/12.

One Year Ago, an average meal was Chicken Fried Steak, Mashed Potatoes, Corn (with butter and cream) and a roll. (prob 22 points or so)
Today, 3 turkey tacos (ground turkey breast) on corn tortillas, sliced avocado, lettuce piled on and 1/4 cup beans (11 points)

One Year Ago, working out was walking up the stairs from the basement.
Today, I did 45 minutes of Zumba and free weights for 10 minutes.

One Year Ago, I hated to look in the mirror and felt disgusted with myself.
Today, I admit, I check myself out and am happy with my progress.

One year ago, my husband was head over heels in love with me, but I didn't love myself.
Today, my husband is STILL head over heels in love with me, but I am learning to love myself.

New "do" for a new me! 175 lbs

Oh, what changes a year can bring. It's eye opening and a revelation to think how far I've come. I'm not yet to my goal, I have about 20-25 lbs left to go. However, when I think back to when I started I was afraid I wouldn't lose 20 lbs, let alone 50, and wow, now 75! Why not make it a cool 100??? Let's do this!

Stay at home/work from home mommy today

Let me preface those of you who stay home every day- you're my freakin hero! My daycare is on vacation this week, so I am left finding creative ways to make sure my kids are being watched.

Yesterday, my awesome sister in law and my brother in law came and spent their day with the kiddos. She cleaned up all the dishes, put away the toys, and even made sure my 3 1/2 year old took a good nap. Overall it was super successful.

However, today I stayed home and attempted to "work from home". Thank goodness, I have an understanding boss who was ok with my 7 am emails and 6 pm phone calls. It made for a challenging day to say the least.

Not only is it challenging watching a 1 year old, 3 1/2 year old and also watching my smartphone for e-mails, I had a difficult time eating today. Breakfast for me is normally a smoothie (2 points and has dairy and protein). Lunch is a salad or light sandwich and I snack on veggies and fruit throughout the day. Breakfast kicked off by making Egg sandwiches. English muffin (3 pts.), Bacon (3 pts.), Egg (2 pts. and a slice of cheese (1 pt.)- So in essence my normally 2 point breakfast had quickly escalated to 9 points! Ugh- that only leaves me 19 points for the day.

Lunch- Egg salad (6 pts.) and reduced fat potato chips (3 pts.) Snack- my son had one of those darn Nutella things- he politely gave me 2 this time. BUT he didn't finish all the hazelnut spread, so of course I had to do that....(3 pts.) There goes another 12 points. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I tried to bring in some strawberries, a bite of banana, and grapes to the equation. So now, dinner....oh dinner. Did I mention between these meals, I was handling a improperly designed website, a cold call blitz and 7 accounts that need to be contacted immediately because one of my reps went to a competitor?

I am not trying to complain, OK so I am, but ARGHH! What a day. So dinner, chipotle black bean burgers (skipping the bun to save points) and  Mexican Rice. Should be a 10 point dinner- over by 3. However, I DO need something sweet- ice cream (2 pts.) or candies (1 pt.) Let's go with candy. End of day total- 33 points- over by 5. At least I mentioned to get 25 minutes of Zumba in while the kids napped- Did I not mention that? Yeah, I'm awesome. LOL!

Oh and a quick update- my son decided to throw up all of his dinner. That was pretty great, too!

Again, if you're a SAHM- God Bless You! I love my kids and I love my job, I DO NOT love them on the same day and the same time. Thanks for letting me vent!

Update on my Weekly Goals.

Goals span from 2012-2013

I can only imagine you wondering, "How is she doing on her weekly goals?" Or if you're weren't wondering maybe you are now. So let's break them down. How am I doing?

1. No more FAST FOOD.

2. Do not eat PAST 8 pm. 

3. Work out 3 x per week.

4. Eat Fish/Seafood 2 x per week

#1- No more FAST FOOD: I haven't had any fast food since 7/13/12 when I had my final McGriddle sandwich. No Burger King, No Wendy's (except a shared frosty 1 time) and No Mcdonalds (other than a dipped cone 1 x), No Taco bell, nothing! Cousins, Subway (My favorite sub-10 points!) and Jimmy Johns (NEVER add mayo- always add Avocado spread- only 1 point!) doesn't count though....

#2- Do not east PAST 8 pm: Initially I tried past 7 pm. However, as I don't get home until 6 pm and then I have to make dinner, get kids into a bath, jammies and bed, 8 pm is much more feasible. So I would say I'm successful about 95% of the time on this one.

#3- Work out 3x per week.: Oooooh, now this is a sore spot. I've not been great here. I've just recently started scheduling my workouts on my smart phone. There's an alarm that goes off on Tues and Thu for a 5:15 am work out session. I will also add in a Saturday or Sunday activity with my family. Update you in 1 month!

#4- Eat Fish/Seafood 2x per week: Sadly another partial fail. While I did GREAT the first month or so, I quickly realized that I do not LOVE seafood. Shrimp, unless fresh (which is very hard to find in Milwaukee) has an odor which I cannot stomach. A lot of my hesitance could be that I've never loved fish, so I don't know how to prepare it. I even bought Parmesan Crusted Tilapia from Sam's (Parmesan Crusted Fish, you say?) which is good, but still not my favorite. Open to any suggestions. I have modified #4 for future.

#4 Modified: Eat Fish/Veggie 2x per week: This is my new attempt. I may even try tofu. Again, recipes welcome. I even bought a new book from my WW Meeting- Veg Power Cookbook- you can add meat too!

My new cookbook!

So, that's an update on my goals. I am officially 178 lbs even. Down 72.6 lbs. Feeling fantastic- people at work are really noticing, which offers assurance. Someone even said "Hey there, Skinny" yesterday. SMILE!

Lullaby Singalong

I've been singing Bob Marley's "3 little birds" to both my kids since they were born. Last night, I was rocking Joel to sleep in the chair and Myles was sitting on the stool in front of me. As I sand, he joined in and sang with me (even with pauses and breaks in the song)! It MELTED my heart. He's such an amazing kid! Love him!

"Mommy- Your arm is Fat"

The title of the post is what my son said to me the other day....Are you kidding me? You did NOT just say that to me? I wanted to scream- "It's a heck of a lot skinnier than it was a year ago!" I refrained. As I looked into the face of my 3.5 year old son, I tried to remember he wasn't being mean. It was in fact "fat" compared to other arms he sees. His arm, his brother's arm, and Miss Mary Jo who watches him, her arm (she's very thin and just lovely!) I explained, "You should never call someone fat in any way. That's just not polite and not nice."

But why did he have to say that to me? Just when I think I'm looking good and getting a little more confidence in myself, BAM- knock me down a few pegs. Needless to say, I spent 20 minutes with free weights yesterday morning after a 40 minute workout on the elliptical. This workout was also spawned thanks to my son, who decided to come in and wake me up at 4:44 am. Now I wouldn't normally allow him to get into our bed, but it was after 4 am, which means if I try the 30 minute fight getting him back into his room, it really wouldn't pay off. Besides, I was sleepy.

Let's step back a moment, I have signed up for Warrior Dash (http://www.warriordash.com/Wisconsin) here in WI. It's on August 3rd and I am frightened. It's for charity, which is awesome, so I figured it would also force me to get into shape before the Big Wedding. Anyhoo, I was out at a party Saturday night at the bar we are signed up through. I met a few people there who were discussing their training regiment for the event. WOW!! I had no idea it was going to be that much work. People are running 5 miles a day to prepare. This is a 5K with obstacles. I figured worst case scenario I could walk the 3.3 miles. It turns out the obstacles are a little more difficult. UGH!

So, when my son came in at 4:44 am, I promptly brought him into the bed in between me and hubby. I said "Leave room for mommy, ok." He was out immediately. Within 5 minutes, he had literally shoved me out of the bed. I looked at my phone, it was 4:53 am. I was exhausted, but grabbed workout clothes and headed downstairs. Normally I would have done the elliptical for 30 minutes and called it a day. I felt extra motivated by the "fat arms" comment. Which is why I picked up my free weights for the first time in 7 years! They were dusty, but they worked. Oh man, they worked. It hurts to type. With that, enjoy your hump day!

A Tuesday Funny!

These you tube videos have me CRACKING up! Please check it out.... Anyone who has kids can relate :-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtiJAexxSPo

Enjoy!

Michelle

Las Vegas & his 1st birthday party!

    Aug 2011- 250 lbs.          May 2013- 180 lbs. 

First of all, let me post this picture for you to see....This is 10.5 months of hard work and dedication to a plan! I began my weight loss journey just 6 weeks after giving birth to my beautiful baby boy, Joel.

For the 2nd time since I started Weight Watchers, I experienced a gain in weight. It was 1.4 lbs. Ugh. But overall it could have been much worse. Why is that? you ask. Well, I spent the better part of a week in Las Vegas, NV for the bachelorette party of my beautiful cousin.

This trip away was several "firsts" for me. It was the first time I was away from both my babies, EVER. I've not been gone from them for more than one night and have only done that twice with my hubby.  I had all kinds of mommy guilt. Guilt about leaving, guilt about missing work, but mostly guilt because I was SO excited to get away. Is that bad?

Well even if it was kind of bad, I had an incredible time! I sat by the pool for 2 days, I went shopping, and I danced the night away with a bunch of single ladies! It was wonderful. I consumed alcohol without fear of a hangover, because even if I got one, I could sleep it off. I ate delicious brunch food (Mon Ami Gabi- just beautiful) and scarfed up authentic Mexican cuisine (Diablos at Monte Carlo) . I felt somewhat guilty, but I enjoyed each meal.

When I came back to reality on Sunday night, my husband got Papa Murphy's because it was so easy. AND it was easy for me to continue my poor eating streak. The hardest thing was trying to get back to reality on Monday. Not tracking, not measuring and not analyzing my food had been easy, but I also realized after 2 days of using Pepcid AC, that it wasn't good for my body. When weigh in came on Friday, I'd gained 1.4 lbs. Again, it could have been MUCH worse.

On Saturday my baby boy turned 1. Oh boy, did we celebrate. I took the day off on Friday to prep the food. The dessert table was my favorite part. I made homemade marshmallows on a stick (2 recipes- BEST Marshmallows ever and Put those BEST marshmallows on a stick and dunk them in chocolate! combined) They turned out AMAZING! There was a cake for baby boy to destroy and cupcakes too.

Hubby cooked 72 pieces of BBQ chicken and that was accompanied by Dable Bean dish, Macaroni Salad, Spinach salad and too many appetizers to name. Overall a success! I was fine for most of the evening until after everyone went home. We had friends over to play a card game and late night eating ensued. That was a bit of a step back! SO....

Needless to say, I am back on plan now. I weigh in on Friday or Saturday, work permitting. I'll let you know where I am at. Whatever the result may be, I know I am NEVER going back to the woman in the picture above. It's not me. I don't even recognize myself when I look at it. The picture below is me, every fiber of my being loves these boys (and yes my hubby is my "boy" too). This journey is for them, but more importantly for me. I stumble and yes, sometimes I fall, but I pick myself back up and start again. (I'm sure someone famous has said this, but I don't know who to credit- sorry.)

Until next time!

Nutella IS very good. Maybe too good.

My weight loss plateau- not this pretty!

So, I had a rough weigh in yesterday. Make that 3 weeks in a row of rough weigh in days. I've hit one big milestone and at the same time found myself in the middle of an awful plateau.My leader didn't officially call it a plateau as you have to lose less than .4 lbs 4 weeks in a row. My weight loss has been .8, .2, and .2. UGH! So what am I doing wrong? Where's the disconnect? She (my leader) told me: more water, go back to the basics. Measure, track, etc. All the things which have led me to where I am now. It's exhausting.

On a brighter note, my big milestone, I am down 70.4 lbs! That's right, people I hit the 70 lb mark! I'm also in a size 12. Down from a size 22! So, yeah, 70 lbs! What is that equivalent to, you ask? A full helium tank, an average sheet of drywall and 2 of my son, Myles who is weighing in at around 35 lbs right now. It's been a long 10 months, but it's all worth it. I just want it to keep going.

But it's not going and don't get me wrong, that's quite the accomplishment! I'm proud of myself. I feel better. I feel empowered and dare I say, HAPPY! In all of this happiness, I can't help but wonder why I am slowing down? I don't feel like I am splurging too much. Even with 2 small boys and a husband to feed and working 45 hours a week, I like to believe we eat healthfully for most meals.

But yesterday was hard, today is hard. I'm really fighting a strong desire to say- "F You" new lifestyle that's done wonders for me. Forget you and all your point counting nonsense. Does that sound like a smart thing to do? No, it does not but darn, it's how I am feeling. 1.2 pounds in 3 weeks! UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH! Why? I don't want to be good today. It's a holiday weekend, we have a birthday party to go to today, Chocolate Fest in Burlington tomorrow and a lazy day Monday. So what's a girl to do? Especially when there's a tempting treat involved.

Yummmmmmmmm

We've just returned home from shopping where we purchased me son his first taste of nutella (http://www.nutellausa.com/). You know that insanely delicious chocolate hazelnut product (which they claim is good for you- LOL!). In my "before WW days", I'd eat spoonfuls of the velvety, chocolatey treat. I know, REALLY good for me. Back to the story, well my husband finagled 2 away from him before he got to try the "to go" cup- he's always been the best sharer. Here's how the conversation  went when I sweetly asked him for a second stick.

Me: can I have one more of those?
Him: no.
Me: please
Him: Um. Nuh uh
My hubby takes the cup from him and the shouting starts.
Hubby: just give mommy 1 stick
Him: No! there are only 2 left and you cant have them. I want them!

That's my 3.5 year old. Ha, I want them, too. BUT I really don't need them. Needless to say, I got one tiny bite. What happened to my "Super Sharer" son? Well, I think he just learned how delicious nutella can be. It reminded me, sometimes I think I want something and I think I need something, but the spoonfuls I used to need, never really did me any good. The tiny bite and the 1 stick were yummy. It was enough. What a change. A little change, but I leave the computer with a clearer mind. I am on a journey. These last 3 weeks have SUCKED. I've been working hard and it's not showing on the scale, but I can't undo all my hard work. 

Next week, I'll head to Vegas for my cousin's bachelorette party (remember the one who is getting married and I want to wear a size 8 dress?) I want to feel good and look as great as I can. The last 10 months have transformed me, why stop now? Wish me luck because now I am heading to a 3 year old's birthday party. I hope there are fruit and veggies there....

Summersaults and Dance Parties

My first born, Myles- he's 3 (as of December) was a bit hyper a couple weeks ago and we were stuck in the house due to the unfortunate weather climate that is Wisconsin. I decided to show him how to do some gymnastic moves in the living room.

After his hundredth summersault, he asked "Mommy can we do a dance party?" Without hesitating I said, "Yeah, buddy! Let's do it!" 35 minutes later of dance moves from high school and even some leaps and jumps, I was sweating and so was he! It was fantastic. I decided to plug in my Active Link to see what it looked like- 6 points! AWESOME. I earned these points for playing with my son. Mommy/Myles time and I  am now 106% of my daily activity goal (In fact I finished the day at 9 points)

Why this has meaning you ask? 1 year ago, heck 4 years ago, I NEVER would have done this activity. I would have felt self conscience or embarrassed. I would have been "too tired". My son would have suffered for the damage I was doing to myself and my body. All the small changes I've made over the last 7 1/2 months (Did I mention I still have not had ANY fast food i.e. McDonalds, Wendys, Taco Bell, Burger King- NADA!)

Why did I eat that donut? Oh well....

I ate a donut today....It was a maple frosted plain donut from Dunkin Donuts. I immediately went into my online tracking and searched....8 points! Ah crap, REALLY! 8 points? Oh what I could have eaten for that 8 points. And things that are so much better for me too, but I REALLY wanted the donut. And it was delicious. Looks like I need to adjust the remainder of my day. Easy peezy!

So, it's been a while since I've written and I'm not sure if everyone has given up on my blog, but I am attempting to get back to it! It's a horrible, snowy day and I'm not too busy here at work, so I decided to take a few minutes and update this blog. Even if this is just an account of my journey which I read in 20 years, it's great to get the thoughts out!

Weight Watchers has truly changed my life. I officially am in a size "14". Not just the big size 14's- you all know what I'm talking about. Like Old Navy's pants run a little big, so you can always buy a size down. But I'm talking my work slacks- size 14! YAY! I've only worn these pants 1 time and it was in 2008, the year I got married. Right around the time of my wedding. I've lost 58.6 lbs. I'm watching the 200's get further and further away. I feel like flipping 200 lbs the bird and shouting "F You! I don't ever want to see you again!" I am continuing towards my goal of being 150 lbs by August 2013!

All the exciting news above doesn't mean that I haven't hit any rough patches. I had my first gain of .6 lbs 3 weeks ago. My work had 2 parties that week and I was kind of liberal with my appetizers and drinks. Oops! It took me the next week to lose 1.6 lbs and all I could think was, well now I've screwed up. I average 2 lbs a week and these 2 weeks set me back 3 lbs. So, I decided I would dive back in and re-focus my energies. It was perfect timing at the meeting to go over the importance of measuring and weighing your food.

I followed the program to a "T" last week, measuring everything and didn't use my extra points, well doggonit if I didn't work. I lost 4 lbs!! My average is 1.7 lbs. If I can continue this (28 weeks remain until the wedding)- I'll actually be down another 47.6 lbs for a grand total of 106.2 lbs. My new weight will be 143.8 lbs! That gives me a little leeway, but I really don't want it.

Remember to treat yourself (just account for the points) and make better choices every day. If you mess up a meal, don't ruin the day, just get right back on track! That's what I did and I am pretty sure I'll error again, but it's lifestyle not a diet! Until next time....

Here's a great recipe to try- my dinner tonight! I sub the feta for Reduced Fat Mexican- 8 points for 2 tostadas!

Yummy Shrimp Tostada recipe

My plan for the kick off to the holiday season

So, it's almost that time! Time where you're loosening your pants mid dinner, time where you're regretting that second, or maybe third piece of pie the next day. Well, NOT THIS YEAR! I am continuing with my change. Why should I let one day ruin everything! It won't.

In fact, I'm lucky and unlucky in the fact that I have TWO Thanksgiving celebrations to attend. One on Thursday and one on Saturday. On a good note, my weigh in day is Saturday, so I get 2 separate weeks. Yay for 49 points!!

I think the most frustrating thing is that a majority of people say, "Well it's just one day?" Or "Thanksgiving shouldn't count" Well guess what? It does. One day matters. This didn't happen overnight. I didn't gain 100 lbs in 1 short year or overnight. It took about 10-12. 10-12 years in which I was able to partake in EVERY sinful, delicious item placed in front of me for Thanksgiving. NOT THIS YEAR!

There are a couple changes I'm planning to make and they are as follows:

1. Don't eat the items I can eat any other day. I.E. why eat corn when I can have that any day of the week?

2. For one of the celebrations, I am making the sweet potato casserole and the pumpkin pie. These can be some the MOST dangerous items on the table. I've found recipes which lessen the PPV to 5 points and 3 points EACH. I can indulge, but know exactly what I'm eating. Skinny Pumpkin Pie & Better for you Sweet Potatoes

3. Skip the skin and go for all white meat. Usually I have an issue with the part of the turkey that cover the stuffing when you roast it. You know the piece that you have to cut off to scoop out the stuffing and then some stuffing gets stuck to it? OMG, that's a piece of heaven. This year, I'll skip hovering at the carving area- thus skip the skin. I'll load up my plate with the breast and avoid the fatty dark meat. Fill up on my protein!

4. Have a smoothie for breakfast, a smoothie for lunch and take a walk before dinner. As my leader, Angela says, the socializing is part of the fun of the holiday. A walk is a perfect time to get some pre dinner exercise in and also my active link- LOVE my active link will tell me exactly how many points I have burned!

So, here's to my first Thanksgiving where I'm REALLY trying. It's not that I am not going to enjoy, because trust me I am, it's just that I'll feel SO much better when I step on that scale Saturday. Even if I don't lose, I know I didn't gain what I normally would have. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Time for a check in....DETERMINED

Time has been going so fast over the last couple months. Going back to work after having a baby can be a daunting task, but throw an almost 3 year old into the mix, a change of positions at work, and things get a whole lot harder.

Of course, I am still on track with my new lifestyle. Every day is a challenge, though. I couldn't believe it, our leader a couple weeks back shared that every day we make more than 200 food related decisions. It's CRAZY! All I can do is continue to make the little choices, which all add up to the big  goal, which is losing the weight and feeling good about myself again.

I've had a few pretty big challenges lately, though. There have been some people challenges, some event challenges, and some personal challenges. Want me to share? Sure you do, so here we go.

1. People challenges: There are some people who no matter how many times you tell them that you don't want a donut, they STILL give you a donut! UGH! Why?? A co-worker thought it was funny to put a donut directly in front of me even after I repeatedly and politely, might I add, refused. It was a birthday celebration and my favorite donuts were in the mix. The glazed croissants, oh so yummy. AND, oh so many points. 11 to be exact! Not worth it, so I just sat there for our 1.5 hour meeting staring at delectable, delicious treats. Even after he put the donut in front of me, I took the paper towel it was on and just said, "Ha ha, very funny, but NO THANK YOU." and I placed it back in the box. Whew, where did I get the will power?

My favorite donuts!!

2. Event challenges: My son was baptized on October 21st. I tried my very best to make the food healthful but still delicious. That didn't stop my family from requesting my almost famous deviled eggs and of course I had to have a cake, which my friend's mom made and it is just heavenly! So, we had hot ham and rolls. I only had 1. I made homemade macaroni salad (I used light mayo)- I only had a small scoop. I made the deviled eggs, I ate 3....oops. Then came the cake. I ate a piece on Sunday, then again a small sliver on Sunday night, then again on Monday night (I have an issue with the delicious cake) By Tuesday night, my husband finally saw the desperation in my eyes and threw the remaining cake down the disposal. Love him! I only lost 1 lb. that week, I guess a loss is a loss, but I can only imagine if I had just put down the cake after the first slice....

After our baptism was complete, just this last weekend, our Cousin's little one was baptized. So there I was again, asked to make deviled eggs. HOWEVER, this time. I had 1 little pulled pork sandwich, 1 small scoop of potato salad, JUST 1 deviled egg and NO CAKE! That's right, people NO CAKE. I took 2 tiny bites of my son's slice, but I did not have any of my own. I went home feeling a little more empowered. Let's hope the scale shows it.  Here's a pic of me and my family at her home.

3. Personal Issues: My husband travels for work. Every third week, he has to fly out on Monday morning at 5 am only to return on Friday night around 11 pm. These weeks are long. They are tough. My older son is almost 3 and the youngest is now 5 months. Being a single parent for 1 week is exhausting. I can only imagine people who do it all the time. They are amazing!

So even with these challenges and obstacles, I am trying to remind myself of the word that is keeping me going. DETERMINED. I am determined to become a healthier me. I am determined to feel good about myself. I am determined to be 150 lbs again. I am determined to wear a size 10 dress to my cousin's wedding in August 2013. All of these items cannot and WILL not slow me down. I am 17 weeks into Weight Watchers and I am 34.8 lbs down. So, whew. I feel better. I have missed writing.

I have a plan to write before the holiday as I just found out I have to have 2 THANKSGIVING dinners.....Till next time!

Too long delayed

So sorry for the delay in writing. Unfortunately, this won't be long. I'm proud to say that I celebrated my "Stay and Succeed" award this week on Saturday.

Though it was a rough week with my son's Baptism celebration (too much yummy food and cake) and my birthday, I still managed to lose 1/2 a lb. This brings my total in 16 weeks to, drum roll please....... 31.5 lbs!

Pretty exciting. I feel like I am at a point where it would be easy to back off, so that being said, I need to pick it up and re-energize myself. I went on an 8 mile bike ride on Saturday. I am also challenging myself to do at least 2 more exercises this week. My leader, Angela challenged us to do 10 minutes, 3 times this week. I will definitely do that.

So, till next time!

STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not a bad person, I'm just at a maximum limit of my stress level. Right now, I have exactly 11 minutes to write a blog and eat my popcorn. Yes, popcorn. It's not the best lunch. I already had celery and carrots and a small pita with turkey and cheese. It's not ideal, but it's my life today.

My life is Hectic, busy, crazy, insane and all of these things right now make me.... STRESSED out! Which could probably account for my .2 weight gain on the scale last week. How mad was I? So mad in fact, that I cheated for the first time since I started my new lifestyle. I know it's not right, I know it wasn't the wisest decision, but yesterday I ate a grilled chicken sandwich with cheese and I had FRENCH FRIES! My tummy wasn't so happy with me. Well, it was at first, but not so much later in the day.

Anyhoo, I don't have time to write except that I'm back on track. I plan to lose my .2 and then some and am even hoping to hit my 10% goal this Saturday. I promise to do my best to write more often and I apologize for the large gap!

Little change for today, reminding myself to breath. My new job requires discipline, my lifestyle and healthy eating choices require discipline!