Monday, December 16, 2013

Slow moving fast forward

Myles Joel Mom picking out tree
Christmas Tree Shopping!
Do you ever feel like you're living your life in slow fast forward? Not the one that goes really fast but the one that just barely moves forward but it's still a fast forward? 

That's how I feel my life has been lately. Between a birthday party and illness that about ruined me (promising to blog about both soon) with getting ready for my amazing family to come to town. I have not been doing so hot when it comes to my eating. 

A confession, I've been eating whatever I wanted to eat the last 2 weeks. Many lunches out and not REALLY ordering smart. I haven't been pointing. I haven't been tracking. Overall, it's just not pretty. So what do I do about it? On a good note, I've been continuing my workouts and I'm really loving my new T25 Workout but overall I know I've gained. The worst thing about it is I don't want to go to the meetings and weigh in. It's really scary for me right now. 

I'm around 10 pounds from my goal weight. I'm 153 pounds and I've "released" 97.5 lbs. I am a comfortable size 8 almost down to a size 6. I think the extra 10 pounds will put me down at the size 6 but I guess I'm not that concerned with the number. I just want to make sure I have learned better habits and I am set to maintain my healthy lifestyle for the long haul.

I think the most important thing for me to do right now is to look back and make sure I have genuinely changed. Changed my eating habits, changed my workout habits, and overall changed my life? I think I have accomplished this and I'm pretty sure these are changes that will stick. 

There's a part of me that's afraid though....I'm all of a sudden going to gain back the pounds I lost over night. Sometimes I even dream about it. I dream I look in the mirror again and my face is rounder, my boobs are bigger, and my ass is huge! I know this is impossible, but I'm scared anyways. 

I don't think I could go back to being the way I was before because I was so unhappy. The other thing that's really crucial right now is to not let my head get so big that I feel like I have this under control. As I realize over the last two weeks I am NOT 100 percent in control. Again, I haven't been utilizing my tracker as I'm supposed to and I haven't weighed in for almost two weeks. 

I know these are bad things. I know this is where it would be so easy to fall off the wagon. But I can't let that happen. All of the compliments that people have been giving me and extending to me are fantastic and they are deserved but I don't want them to go to my head. I'm not done yet. I'm not happy with the way that I look....yet.

How do I remind myself? 

Here are some of the ways I know that my lifestyle change has impacted everything about me. #1. I work out a minimum of 4 times per week. Usually it's five and sometimes its 6 but I never work out less than 4 times per week. 

#2. I never splurge on multiple items at dinner. For example, I used to get the big, fat loaded chicken sandwich with cheese and bacon all that good stuff AND an order of french fries. Now I'll either get a grilled chicken very simple with the French fries or I get the big, fatty chicken sandwich but steamed broccoli instead. 

#3. I drink lots and lots and lots and lots of water. If I don't do this I get horrible headache. I can tell how easily I get dehydrated because of my workout and because of running around. 

#4. I eat fruits and veggies at almost every meal. Let's be honest I'd like to say I do it every meal but I don't. (Maybe something to work for in 2014). I cut up carrots, celery, broccoli every week. Try to make sure to eat asparagus, Brussel sprouts, very leafy greens, my favorite is romaine, and I make sure I eat strawberries, grapes, apples, oranges, anything else I can that's healthy.

#5.  I have eliminated all clothing above a size 10. I do not ever want to go back to a size 10 or 12 or 14, god forbid a size 20 where I was when I began this journey. I used to keep multiple bins of clothing. They would span 3-4 sizes depending on my size. Making sure these bigger sizes aren't around won't allow me to gain 10 pounds and just go into the bigger size.

Little life changes are not always easy. As I sit here writing, I made treats for work this weekend and I am narrowly avoiding shoveling them all into my mouth....but I can resist. If

I can be aware of this now, I can fix my slide before it's too late. I can do this! You can too, just remember it's a life change, don't be too hard on yourself, but don't get out of control.

Myles + Mommy + Christmas Concert
Myles First Christmas Concert- Big guy!