The majority of the videos, I was behind the camera. Narrating the happenings around me, to my husband's horror, and never showing my fat ass on camera. I know it sounds harsh, but I knew I was big. Heck, I was 250 lbs after my first was born. A whole YEAR after he was born, I was still 250 lbs. No excuses, just loving food and avoiding exercise. It wasn't baby weight, it was lazy weight.
So, back to the camera, the videos that do include me are horrifying! I am appalled at the person who was on that video. It wasn't me. I was huge! I never saw myself as the person featured. Sitting with my son, Myles helping him open his gifts, there were literally ROLLS of fat and my arm was huge! I am pretty sure my voice even sounded lower. I know why I avoided the camera as much as possible. Eek....However, the camera does add 75 lbs, right?
When we got to the video which was taken just a few weeks ago, I was sitting happily with my baby boy, Joel (who's now 18 months) helping him open his presents. The woman in that video was who I had always seen in my mind. NOT the large lady who was in those other videos. It made me so happy! Until I saw my little roll that hung over... UGH! I guess at least it was 1 roll and not a multitude.
It's been a rough road. Losing weight has not been easy, but it was VERY necessary. 2014 will be a whole new ball game for me. Now I've lost the weight, it's time to feel better about me. I'm re-focusing myself to Weight Watchers. I plan on attending meetings religiously again. I am even hoping to become a leader in 2014 or 2015.
On another note, which I'm on day 3 of T25 which is a workout regimen I've committed to for 10 weeks. It's really brutal, but I'm hoping it will help me tone and tighten. Seriously, it's only 25 minutes plus a 2 min cool down and it's QUITE the workout! I'm already writing a bit about how I'm feeling through these workouts, so expect to see some of that in 2014!
Overall I am happy with where I am right now. Happy for the first time in my adult life. I weigh 153 lbs, am wearing a size 6 pants and size small sweaters. I'm not completely satisfied, I want to look in the mirror and not see the extra skin. However, when I look at my beautiful boys, that skin and my stretch marks are reminders of them.
I'll definitely write more soon, but I just wanted to post some pictures and give anyone out there who is afraid they cannot do it some advice.... and I know everyone says it, but "IF I CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU!". There's nothing special about me. I don't have extreme will power. I fight cravings. Chocolate and french fries are still part of my diet, just not every day. PLEASE reach out to me if you want to know more or if I can help. I'm a real person.
I'll definitely write more soon, but I just wanted to post some pictures and give anyone out there who is afraid they cannot do it some advice.... and I know everyone says it, but "IF I CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU!". There's nothing special about me. I don't have extreme will power. I fight cravings. Chocolate and french fries are still part of my diet, just not every day. PLEASE reach out to me if you want to know more or if I can help. I'm a real person.
Take a look and see what a difference a year can make.
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I never EVER thought I would feel good enough to post pictures of me in a sports bra. In fact, I HATE most women who do this, but I am now committed to making these photos from yesterday my NEXT "before" pictures. I'll post those in 10 weeks.
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