Slow moving fast forward

Christmas Tree Shopping!

Do you ever feel like you're living your life in slow fast forward? Not the one that goes really fast but the one that just barely moves forward but it's still a fast forward? 

That's how I feel my life has been lately. Between a birthday party and illness that about ruined me (promising to blog about both soon) with getting ready for my amazing family to come to town. I have not been doing so hot when it comes to my eating. 

A confession, I've been eating whatever I wanted to eat the last 2 weeks. Many lunches out and not REALLY ordering smart. I haven't been pointing. I haven't been tracking. Overall, it's just not pretty. So what do I do about it? On a good note, I've been continuing my workouts and I'm really loving my new T25 Workout but overall I know I've gained. The worst thing about it is I don't want to go to the meetings and weigh in. It's really scary for me right now. 

I'm around 10 pounds from my goal weight. I'm 153 pounds and I've "released" 97.5 lbs. I am a comfortable size 8 almost down to a size 6. I think the extra 10 pounds will put me down at the size 6 but I guess I'm not that concerned with the number. I just want to make sure I have learned better habits and I am set to maintain my healthy lifestyle for the long haul.

I think the most important thing for me to do right now is to look back and make sure I have genuinely changed. Changed my eating habits, changed my workout habits, and overall changed my life? I think I have accomplished this and I'm pretty sure these are changes that will stick. 

There's a part of me that's afraid though....I'm all of a sudden going to gain back the pounds I lost over night. Sometimes I even dream about it. I dream I look in the mirror again and my face is rounder, my boobs are bigger, and my ass is huge! I know this is impossible, but I'm scared anyways. 

I don't think I could go back to being the way I was before because I was so unhappy. The other thing that's really crucial right now is to not let my head get so big that I feel like I have this under control. As I realize over the last two weeks I am NOT 100 percent in control. Again, I haven't been utilizing my tracker as I'm supposed to and I haven't weighed in for almost two weeks. 

I know these are bad things. I know this is where it would be so easy to fall off the wagon. But I can't let that happen. All of the compliments that people have been giving me and extending to me are fantastic and they are deserved but I don't want them to go to my head. I'm not done yet. I'm not happy with the way that I look....yet.

How do I remind myself? 

Here are some of the ways I know that my lifestyle change has impacted everything about me. #1. I work out a minimum of 4 times per week. Usually it's five and sometimes its 6 but I never work out less than 4 times per week. 

#2. I never splurge on multiple items at dinner. For example, I used to get the big, fat loaded chicken sandwich with cheese and bacon all that good stuff AND an order of french fries. Now I'll either get a grilled chicken very simple with the French fries or I get the big, fatty chicken sandwich but steamed broccoli instead. 

#3. I drink lots and lots and lots and lots of water. If I don't do this I get horrible headache. I can tell how easily I get dehydrated because of my workout and because of running around. 

#4. I eat fruits and veggies at almost every meal. Let's be honest I'd like to say I do it every meal but I don't. (Maybe something to work for in 2014). I cut up carrots, celery, broccoli every week. Try to make sure to eat asparagus, Brussel sprouts, very leafy greens, my favorite is romaine, and I make sure I eat strawberries, grapes, apples, oranges, anything else I can that's healthy.

#5.  I have eliminated all clothing above a size 10. I do not ever want to go back to a size 10 or 12 or 14, god forbid a size 20 where I was when I began this journey. I used to keep multiple bins of clothing. They would span 3-4 sizes depending on my size. Making sure these bigger sizes aren't around won't allow me to gain 10 pounds and just go into the bigger size.

Little life changes are not always easy. As I sit here writing, I made treats for work this weekend and I am narrowly avoiding shoveling them all into my mouth....but I can resist. If

I can be aware of this now, I can fix my slide before it's too late. I can do this! You can too, just remember it's a life change, don't be too hard on yourself, but don't get out of control.

Myles First Christmas Concert- Big guy!

I know, I know!

It's definitely on my mind that I haven't blogged for a week and a half. I'm SORRY!

Good news is after an AWFUL November I lost 4.6 lbs last week. My new # "released" is 97.2 lbs. I am finally in the "healthy weight" range.

There are so many things to catch you up on! My son's 4th birthday, the flu that roared through my home (while my hubby was out of town, mind you), and the upcoming excitement of the holidays!

Stay tuned because I will be writing Thursday. For now, enjoy one of my favorite videos:

What a grown man as a "2 year old" looks like!! LOL

Prepping for T-Day!

Last year I had a CU-RAZY successful Thanksgiving and overall holiday season! In the month of November, I lost 9.8lbs and in December, I lost 10.4 lbs. That's 20 lbs in a time where statistically most people gain weight.

Happy T- day! Get your HEALTHY on!

Recently, I've been having some challenges. So far this month, my weigh in's have gone as so.... up, down, up, down. I've lost 1 freakin lb! 1 POUND! Needless to say, I'm not happy with this result. It's time to revisit my blog from last year and refresh my thinking.

Here are my modified changes!

1. Don't eat the items I can eat any other day. I.E. why eat corn when I can have that any day of the week? LOVE this one. It worked last year and will work this year.

2. Smoothies all week. Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu, Fri. In addition on Thursday, have a smoothie for breakfast, a smoothie for lunch and take a walk before dinner.

3. WORK OUT! Tue, Wed, Thu am- log 45-50 minutes on the Elliptical or Zumba. I already missed this morning.... Last year I wasn't active like I am this year. I can gain 30 points to eat more!

4. Indulge in pie, but 1 tiny slice of each. (I completely skipped desserts last year)

5. Skip the skin and go for all white meat. Honestly I don't even like the fatty taste of skin anymore....

6. WEIGH IN on Saturday. No matter what. Make it to a meeting!

Luckily this year, I only have to attend 1 celebration where last year I had 2. My hope is to see the scale stay the same or maybe even go down. Now next week I have to tackle my 2 weeks of Christmas holidays this year.

Failure WAS an option.

I still see the little muffin top. Ugh!

When I started my journey 17 months ago there was doubt. I never let on there was doubt, but there was! I looked at this 100 lbs to lose and said "I can do it!" all while in my head saying, "Are you crazy! That's 100 lbs?" I wish I would have taken more pictures. Documenting this journey seemed as if it would doom me to failure. What if I took the pictures and I didn't like what I saw?

Duh! Of course I didn't like what I saw. I was 100 lbs overweight. On the outside I pretended that it didn't bother me. I pretended I was fine being a "big" girl. In fact, I NEVER saw myself that way, so I just convinced myself I was happy. The excuses I used were, I'm going to get pregnant again anyway, so why lose the weight. Muscle weighs more than fat (too bad I hadn't worked out in 8 years). Food is just so good! I don't have willpower. Working out takes too much time. I'm too busy. I just smiled and showed everyone I loved myself and I was HAPPY! Unfortunately, I was not happy. I had a wonderful husband, 2 beautiful boys, and a fulfilling job. On the surface my life seemed pretty great. I was not great.

The background doesn't feel real- but it is!

Every day I witness people who are not great, but they plaster a smile on their face anyway. I KNOW you're not happy. I've been there, I've faked it too. It hurts my heart when people think they cannot make a lifestyle change. I am no different than anyone else. I PROMISE you! I love to eat. I love to watch TV. I am exhausted every morning too. All of these factors are exactly the reason I needed a change. With executing one small change at a time, I found they compounded into what has become my new lifestyle.

As a reminder, here are the changes I made:

1. No more FAST FOOD. - Other than Burgerville in Oregon, I have not had fast food since 7/13/12. This includes McDonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell, and Wendys. NADA! It's been so long now I can only imagine how awful I'd feel.

2. Do not eat PAST 8 pm.   I RARELY eat past 8 pm. If I do, it's 1 point weight watcher candy. If I ever feel starving, which happened to me at 3 am the other morning, I ate a hard boiled egg, grapes, and carrots. You'll be amazed how much of an impact this will have on your diet! If you have to eat, make it fruits/veggies. Something that will power your system and burn easily. NO CARBS!!

3. Work out 3 x per week.   Since April 2013, I have consistenly averaged at LEAST 3 times per week. Most of the time I shoot for 5 times per week. My schedule is ALL done at home. Zumba/Dancing on Tue/Thu/Sat and Eliptical 1 time per week.

4. Eat Fish/Seafood 2 x per week  Ok, I am NOT good at this at all. I have tried to incorporate 1 meatless meal per week. This is a reminder to me I still have changes to make.

This is a REAL smile!

It may be time for me to initiate some new policies and procedures in my life. I'm not great just yet, but I have more TRUE, REAL great days than I ever did before. So with my beautiful boys in tow, and my husband by my side, I continue my journey. I'm not done yet.

I'm 157 lbs, size 8 dress/pants, size Small sweaters- I am looking good, not I just need my interiors to match. Also I've included some pictures of my family! My photographer and friend, Alia is incredible!
Her website is here: http://www.aliamorganphotography.com/

Losing my first fur baby.

Last week was a rough one....After 15 years of companionship, I made the difficult choice to have my cat, Cleopatra put to rest. She had been degrading for some time and I was in denial to the extent of her quality of life. The week before her passing, there were too many signs to ignore. I made the call to the vet and scheduled what I feared would be her final visit.

Though hard for me, explaining this to my 4 year old was a challenge. So, off to Facebook I went to my incredible mommy group. I posted asking for advice and an angel from Louisiana responded. She is a grief counselor at a hospice center. Even though this was not a human family member, it was a member of our family nonetheless. This is what she told me I should tell him, "Jesus took kitty home today n kitty is no longer sick. Mommy is sad because I loved her w all my heart and wished she could have stayed but God made her well in heaven. Keep it real. Keep it honest". That is almost verbatim what I told him, adding in that we still have 2 other wonderful kitties who need our love. He got this gigantic smile on his face! He just understood she was in a better place.

The next morning, Myles made the point to explain to our other cat, Voodoo that Cleo had gone to heaven. That he would join her there some day, we all would. But for now, she can eat anything she wants without being sick, sleep on any bed without having to move, and talk to Jesus whenever she wants. He further explained, "you still have me, Mommy, Daddy, Joel and Moose (other cat). We love you." Tears flooded my eyes and I looked at my amazing little boy whose faith was so strong that he never doubted for a second. I am so blessed!

Needless to say, my eating was a little rough for a couple days. I am still feeling sad and a little lost without her. A little fur baby who fit into the palm of my hand is November 1998 is now gone. I'll miss her snuggles and meow. Thankful to have had her for the 15 years I did.

Promise next week's blog will be more uplifting, but my blog is real. Reality is, we lose our loved ones. Even our fur babies....

Progress, not perfection

per·fec·tion

pərˈfekSHən/

noun

1. 1.

   the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.

   
   

   
   

There was a point in my life where I thought I had to be perfect. Heck, I still feel like I have to be perfect. It's just not realistic, but it is very frustrating. Lately, my wise husband has been repeating the following phrase to me, "Honey- strive for progress, not perfection."

My idea of perfection was always to complete the list below:

1. Making sure I complete all tasks at home.
Tasks = Cleaning, cooking, laundry, playing with my kids (A task? I've been treating it like one- not cool)
2. Making sure all my tasks at work are completed
Tasks = Staying on top of all needs/requests, responding to e-mails, making sure my team and I are putting up the sales numbers we need to be considered successful.
3. Losing the weight that I need to feel like it's enough.
How much weight? When will I feel like it's enough? Not sure. As long as I feel good, exercise regularly, eat moderately and still continue to lose weight than I guess I'll keep losing.

I think about it now and I think- Did I seriously think handling those above items were the reason I could consider myself to be perfect? Would these truly equate perfection? Seriously who is perfect?

God knows, I am not. I need to be fine with this. How can I change my thinking?

I've been working on me lately. Reading books, taking time outs, just TRYING to become a better person. I think I'm making progress. I think....I came across this picture and it reminds me, reminds US- we are real. We are flawed. We cannot be perfect. Just strive for progress.

Progress....

Cheesecake Renovation- Sinful BUT sensible

So, I did it. I made over a Cheesecake. I have to say this one was tough and go. There were a few key items I was looking to avoid with this makeover.

1. Gritty texture
2. Dense
3. Weird after taste
4. NO Fat Free Cream cheese (It is after all, still a dessert!)

Overall, the results were excellent! My husband told me it was great. He had no idea it was even lightened up! Until I told him there was Cottage cheese in it, then he made sure to tell me, "Well now that you mention it, I can taste that." My son said it was "Yummy". Discerning palate of a 3 1/2 year old, you know.  In order to avoid eating more than my 2 slices (One on Sun morning and one Sunday night), I took it into work.

Well, it vanished REAL Quick! It was sitting outside my desk on the mini "food" table. First there were a couple mini slices missing. Then I heard the chatter.... "Did you try that cheesecake? It's awesome!" and even someone who came into my office and said, "Michelle, you're killing my diet!" Oh I was only too happy to then let everyone know it was, in fact, a lightened up version of New York Cheesecake.

The traditional version of New York Cheesecake can pack as much as 15 points or 710 calories! My version is a mini splurge at 7 points - SERVES 14. Topped with Fresh Strawberries or Lite Hersheys syrup. This is a sinful way to end a meal, without feeling the guilt!

Here's the recipe:

Pre-heat oven to 350 for  Crust:
8 Squares- Graham Crackers
1 T. Butter- melted
1 t. sugar

Spray the springform pan with Pam. Crush crackers in food processor or in a plastic bag with a rolling pin into small crumb pieces. Add 1 t. sugar to grahams and mix together. Melt butter in microwave. Add melted butter to graham crumbs and mix together. Press them into the Springform Pan into a thin layer. Cook crust at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes or until lightly golden brown. Take out of oven and cool

For Cheesecake:
16 oz. 1/3 Less Fat Cream Cheese (neufchâtel cheese)
2 Cups 2% Cottage Cheese
1 Cup Reduced Fat Sour Cream
2 Eggs
3 Egg Whites (only whites)
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 T. Flour
1 t. vanilla extract
1-2 t. Lemon Zest

In food processor mix together the Cream cheese, cottage cheese, and sour cream. Pulse until fluffy and mostly smooth. Transfer mixture to a large bowl. Add in eggs, egg whites, sugar, flour, vanilla, and lemon zest. Using a whisk mix until well combined. Pour mixture into the prepared crust. Bake for 50-60 minutes at 350 degrees. The cheesecake will be lightly browned and almost set (may still be a little jiggly in middle.) Turn OFF the oven and let cheesecake stay in there for 1 hour. Place in the fridge for 4 hours to overnight to set.

Feel free to top off with Sliced Strawberries mixed with 1 t. sugar. If you let it sit in fridge, then it will create juices. Great topping with a quick spray of redi-whip! Enjoy!

AGAIN: 7 points for 1/14 of the cheesecake

No way! Little changes = 1 Major Victory

Looking through our basement this weekend led me to a box of clothing that hasn't fit me for quite some time. It's "that" box of clothes from my high school days. My Cheer leading uniform, Letterman's jacket, my Sophomore year homecoming dress, my Junior and Senior Prom dresses and ALL the Bridesmaid dresses from over the last 15 years. It was all the stuff I was saving for if I ever had a girl. Great dress up stuff!

The most influential piece I found was my favorite dress from my Freshman year of college. My first ever sorority formal function. It was 1996 and it was the "Jingle Ball".  I looked smokin' hot and I felt a sense of confidence at that age, I have yet to replicate, until now. You see, then I was 17 years old and 125 lbs. The dress made me feel special. In turn, this dress has been the drive for inspiration many times in my life.

I remember showing the photo to my husband and him saying "WOW! Look how small you were." It hurt to hear, but he was right. When I met him, I was never under 175 lbs. The majority of that time I was over 200 lbs and not really feeling so great about myself.

But, this photo of me in this dress represented where I wanted to be in essence, who I wanted to be. Year after year I would see this picture in my photo album and feel sad. Why? I never EVER thought I would/could be that small again. Well.... GUESS what? I found that dress last night and decided to try it on. Result- It fits! I may have some new curves, but the dress still looks good! Maybe I should try on my cheer leading uniform next? Halloween is coming up....

My Victory comes in a silver skinny dress!

Pizza, Pizza!

Cup o Chicken!

A couple months ago I saw a new thin crust pizza shell from Target. I used to LOVE making Boboli pizzas when I was single and even upgraded to the large ones once I got married. Even better a Pizza Hut personal pan pizza- meat lovers. yummy. Well Pizza Hut Personal Pan is 23 points for a tiny 8 inch pizza and I discovered a Boboli crust alone was 10 points for just one tiny shell....well I stopped those! SO, I was very excited when I discovered this new treasure-  1/3 of a crust was only 4 points! It give you about 3 slices of thin crust pizza for WAY less points! Feel free to play and add more veggies. Broccoli, Carrots, Green Onions, Load em on! All 0 points!

Best Cheese- low points!

Here's my Awesome BBQ Chicken Pizza recipe:

1 - Thin Crust Shell = 11 points
5 T. - BBQ Sauce (I used Famous Dave's Sweet n Zesty) = 5 points
1 cup cooked chicken breast (chopped/shredded/chunked) = 5 points
2/3 cup - WW 4 Cheese Italian Blend=  4 points
Sliced Mushrooms = 0 points
Red Onion = 0 points
Veggies**

WHOLE Pizza = 25 points
1/3 pizza or 3 slices = 8 points

**Feel free to play and add more. Broccoli, Carrots, Green Onions, Load 'em on! All 0 points!

Finished Product

Worst case scenario, if you have a bad day and decide to eat the whole thing, you aren't splurging that much! Smoothie for breakfast (2pts) and soup (4pts) for lunch- heck you could eat the whole pizza and still have a good eating day! Imagine the damage you could do if you ate even 1/2 a pizza.....Sad, because I used to share a Pizza Hut Meat Lovers with my husband at least once a month. After researching, I know that was 50 points for 4 slices. UGH!

Reflect & Refocus

Looking in my mirror- love what I see in the back.

The last couple weeks have been a little rough. Maybe it's because I have been insanely busy, maybe it's because people have been so complimentary about my weight loss that I thought I could take a break, or MAYBE I am just making excuses.

In all likelihood, the latter is correct. Last week was the first time I didn't weigh in for quite some time. In fact, other than my vacation, it's the first time since March. I feel guilty about it. Even worse, I got on my scale and home and there wasn't much movement, which is good, but also bad because that means I didn't lose. It could have been my workouts. Usually I strive for 4-5 days per week. Last week, I did a half ass workout on Monday and then NOTHING until Saturday afternoon. Want to know my excuse?

The Wii controller wasn't "syncing" with the game and I wasn't getting enough "points". WHAT? Are you kidding me, Michelle? Come on! It was just easy to take a mini backslide. I went to Maggiano's for a friends dinner, I ate the remaining dessert for the next 3 days. I made a loaf of zucchini pineapple bread, I slivered that baby to death! I bought Beef Jerky thinking it was a "smart" snack when I was feeling hungry. What's happening to me?

It occurred to me I have been working so hard for the last 15 months I haven't let myself slip. Well only a little. And never for a full week at a time. It's scary how easy it is to resume old habits. Even when those habits are not good for you. Yesterday I re-dedicated myself to me and to losing the last 15-20 lbs.

Here are a few key items I learned over the last week:

1. Keep bad food out of your house. If it's not there, you cannot eat it! Stock the pantry with more satisfying snacks. Worst case scenario you eat a few too many whole wheat pita chips and hummus.
2. Don't take home leftovers. You'll just eat them. Once you splurge, leave it at the restaurant.
3. Excuses are like a-holes, everyone has them. The crap about the Wii? I'm better than that!
4. Get rid of the sizes that are too big for me. There are plenty of people who need new clothes

In essence, I'm Back Baby! (As George Costanza would say)

New adventures in SHOPPING!

Over the last 10 years shopping has been a pretty rough experience. I went from wearing a size 14 to 16 then after I was married a "larger" 16 (never wanted to admit I was an 18) after baby a size 20 and even had a Bridesmaid dress which was a size 22. UGH!

Dressing rooms were not my friend. They felt claustrophobic, like the walls were coming in on me. As my body grew I remember looking at the clothes and thinking, this is HUGE there is no way this will fit me- only to have it fit and snugly at that. Frustrating and sad there were so many times I cried in the dressing room, I cannot even count. Needless to say, as my weight has come off I have not really felt like shopping. One becasue I was losing wewight and didn't want to spend too much money and two, I already had 4 bins of clothing saved from my weight gaining over time.

Size 20 became an 18, then as those hung on me, I moved into my size 16, Size 14 (where I seemed to stay for a little while). My mom sent me a box of her pants she had become too thin for which were size 12. At Christmas I tried them on and they were pretty tight. At least I had new pants waiting for me once I got there. I wore those pants until they literally were almost falling off. Which meant I needed to go shopping....

My new jeans!

Last week I ventured to Brookfield Square to see what I could find. Found some good deals at JC Penney's, spent a little $ at Macy's and as I was getting ready to leave, I looked at The Limited down the end of the hall. The Limited used to be my favorite store. Once I hit a size 14, I just stopped going there. I couldn't justify spending $50 on a shirt or $70 on a pair of pants. Plus usually their clothes stopped looking good on me. I didn't feel cute anymore. I decided to go in and see what they had.

As I expected and as I remembered, they had such cute clothes! Almost too many to absorb.  I grabbed a few pairs of size 10 jeans and some medium shirts, some on clearance and some full price! Eek. As I stepped into the dressing room there was no feeling of claustrophobia. No fear or anxiety, if anything a little bit of excitement. The first pair I put on were PERFECT! Even beyond perfect. They hugged in exactly the right places and there was no muffin top in site! Fantastic!

Pretty in Pink

Add an awesome light pink shirt and some new brown heels from Payless (Cognac Pumps) and I am feeling pretty darn hot! Not sure if it's narcissistic or snobby, but I like shopping again. It's no longer trying to find clothes that fit, it's finding which clothing looks best. Which color compliments my skin tone and what style shirt looks cutest is my newest dilemma. I will take it!

Shopping is FUN again! Now if only I had unlimited funds....

Mom's can't have anything nice

Thinking back there is one saying I remember hearing from my mom over and over again. After a spill on the carpet, a snag on her favorite sweater, or after me dropping her favorite measuring cup to have it shatter on the floor, my mom would always say, "I just can't have anything nice, can I." Sigh.

I vividly remember getting a new sofa when I was 11-12 years old. It was off white and had bursts of color throughout. My parents had never bought anything BRAND new like this, so Mom was so excited. The sofa lasted all of 1 week in our house. Our dog, Pongo, a Dalmatian, took it upon himself to EAT the sofa. Not just scratch at it or take a small bite of it, the dog ATE a huge part of the sofa. The vet had told us there was something in the material used that he was drawn to, so....2 months later that sofa went into a dumpster bin. My mom was devastated. She couldn't have anything nice.

I spent my 20's buying trendy clothing and shoes. Even when I was a size 14-16, I looked cute and fashionable. My cars were always immaculate and my house was pretty clean most of the time. Now that I have kids, my life is much different. It's funny though because I still try to buy nice things, WHAT AM I THINKING?

We recently got a new (used) car. It's got black leather interior and I LOVE it! The other day, my husband let my little one, Joel, who's 15 months into the car with his "Baba" (aka sippy cup full of milk). Fast forward 5 minutes down the road, he throws it and I have milk all over on my back seat. Had his happened in my twenties, I may have frantically pulled over and tried to clean it up. But I didn't. On Monday, I got into the car and looked in my rear view mirror to find a large dried white milk stain. Ugh. What do I find myself saying? "I can't have anything nice." Sigh....

My friend, Donna and I were talking about what we have that's nice now. She too has 2 young boys, ages 3 and 5. After a promise from her husband she would get new carpet after they moved in- she's now been waiting 5 years. 5 years of stains and spills and everything else infants and toddlers can mash into the floor. I know her pain....But why replace it now? These boys are only getting bigger and with that comes larger messes. For her to have her something nice in new carpet, she's got a good 12 years.

I think I'd even settle for a nice looking clean window. That's not going to happen either. What is it with Stickers? They're all over the place! They're on the windows, the stairs, and they were even all over Myles' face during our last grocery trip. My Fridge looks like a bomb of white paper and crayon. No matter what he colors or cuts out, it MUST go on the fridge. There's not a single space between that and the Magnetic Farm on my fridge. Sigh. Nothing nice.

I was on the phone with Donna and I mentioned something she wanted to write down and she tells me, "I don't have a fancy blackberry so I write on the back of my hand" - Again, we can't have anything nice! She also pointed out that there's the moment of stupidity all moms have where we think, "This would look nice _______" But, when you do get something nice you sneak it into the house, maybe while they're sleeping or otherwise engaged. Once they discover it, the kids are all over it within seconds. They know it must be new- they must smell it or something. It must be ruined. Mom cannot have anything nice.

I highly advise you mom's, when you think of getting yourself something nice, just don't! Otherwise you'll be sitting back, watching it get destroyed, shaking your head and saying, "I can't have anything nice." Sigh....

P.S. I TRULY love my boys and would never change a thing about them, but sometimes, I miss my nice stuff.

Mexican Makeover!

I swear I could eat some sort of Mexican food every day. My favorites are tostadas and chimichangas. This would have been a go-to for me at any of the great Mexican Restaurants here in Milwaukee. They are also BOTH fried, which is not so figure friendly. In the last 14 months, I have done my best to still satisfy my cravings but not add the extra fat to my hips and butt! Which is why I love makeovers.

Overall, Mexican food is one of the easiest cuisines to makeover. It doesn't have to be fat filled and calorie ridden. Corn tortillas are only 1 point. My favorite tortilla is a locally made product. Not only are they delicious, they are fresh and a package is only $.49. SWEET Deal! They make the best tostadas too. Here's my simple, easy recipe for Tostada Dinner.

Photo from Kraft recipe

Corn Tortillas (baked in oven: tip below) - 1 point each = 2 @ 2 points
Refried Beans- 1/2 cup = 2 points (My favorite beans)
Ground Turkey Breast*- 2 ounces = 2 points
*Cooked Taco meat (I make a big batch and freeze into three 5 oz.servings)
Reduced Fat Mexican Cheese-  1/4 cup = 2 points (My favorite cheese)
Green Onions- chopped = FREE
Romaine Lettuce- chopped (Don't use iceburg. Very little nutrition. Romaine is a smarter choice)= FREE
Sour Cream- 2 T = 1 point
Salsa- Free!
Total Points = 9 points
(You could also add tomatoes(free) or avocado (2 points for 1/4 avocado) and even sub shrimp too!)

To bake the tortillas- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Spray or very lightly oil both sides of the tortilla. Put directly onto the oven rack. Flip after 5 min. Cook another 3-4 min. Keep a super close eye as they can go from browned to burned REALLY fast!

Hopefully you enjoy these. I'd love to makeover something else this week. I'm open to your ideas! Please let me know :-)

Zombie Party! Down 2 more lbs

After 3 weeks of not weighing in let me tell you I was NOT looking forward to the scale. Overall my vacation eating went well, but I didn't track religiously. After returning from vacation it was Labor Day and I got the flu! Not just a little dose, but 100% I could not get out of my bed, achy all over, chills (even in flannel pj pants and a long sleeve shirt) and an awful stomach ache. It was sheer hell! It has taken me 5 days to get over the horrendous sickness. Maybe that helped, but I finally weighed in yesterday and I was down 2 lbs. Yay! Down 86.4 lbs and only 14 lbs away from my goal weight. 

After all the yuckiness, I was finally feeling good enough to work out so I did 55 minutes of "Just Dance" Wii. It's just such a fun workout. I know I have mentioned it before, but there's something to be said about dancing in the comfort of my own living room. Even if I cannot master the moves, and I look like a complete dork, I am dripping with sweat by the time I am done. After a long workout like that I can definitely splurge a little this weekend.

We had a birthday party to go to for a good friend's little dude. He's turning 5 and is totally into Zombies! It's hilarious. They had a bouncy house, chicken wings, deli sandwiches, chips, veggies, fruits, cupcakes and chocolate dipped licorice. Yes! Chocolate dipped licorice. It was super delicious! My friend is an amazing hostess, so even though I was fully prepared to splurge, she offered all the healthy options too. A deli sandwich, veggies (no dip), fresh fruit, and a couple chips was exactly what I needed. A small slice of cake and scoop of ice cream topped off my meal. Overall, very satisfying and not necessary to dip into my extra weekly points. I'll save those for my mexican craving that have been creeping up. Some coming up next a blog entry for my Mexican Makeover of tostadas. 

Vacay a success- well mostly.

My boys and me

I would say vacation was mostly a success. When I say mostly that's because we had to battle sickness along the way. My oldest son got a quick 24 hour bug the day before we were supposed to leave, my husband got sick the day of the wedding, I got sick the day after the wedding, and BACK to my oldest sick on our last day of vacation. However, all the time spent with my amazing family was great. All my hard work over the last 13 months had paid off, I felt good too!

Seeing people I have not been in contact for almost 15 years was different to say the least. To them, I had never changed. I looked pretty much the same as I did when I was 18 years old. Little did they know I have gone to hell and back battling weight loss and gain. 85 lbs later, I felt good. My dress fit. It was a little tight (I never had a chance to buy Spanx, darn it!) I received multiple compliments and it felt REALLY good.

My aunt and uncle hosted a barbecue the day after the wedding and I didn't do as well as I had hoped. Especially because I didn't feel well it made it a lot easier to justify my poor eating choices. I also had a hard time tracking while on vacation. I was still very much aware of what I was putting into my mouth, but there were so many delicious dishes!

My Fast food ban has now been broken. I had my FIRST fast food in 13 months. Burgerville has my favorite plain old cheeseburger in the whole wide world. They are only located in the Pacific Northwest and the food is fresh and delicious. They have a special sauce which I can only conclude is a mix of 1,000 island and mustard? It's just plain AWESOME! You can even buy it in a jar. SO, this was my first fast food in a long time. My husband ordered me 2 cheeseburgers and a regular fry. If I would have eaten everything, it would have been 27 points. I was completely satisfied with 1 cheeseburger and 1/2 the fries. Making my new total 14 points! Totally worth the splurge :-) That's what it was, a splurge. Since coming home I have not fallen off the wagon and made runs to McDonalds, Taco Bell, Burger King, etc. I still want to steer clear from that as much as I can.

So you ask, "Now the wedding is over, is my hard work done?" NOT EVEN CLOSE! I feel so great and I want to keep going. I want to get to a point where I can just be in maintenance mode. If that means 10 lbs, 15 lbs, 20 lbs? I don't know. I just want to go until my body tells me to stop. This new lifestyle just feels awesome. Have a wonderful long weekend- we'll be witnessing the Harley 110th Anniversary here in Milwaukee! Do you have any fun plans?

VACATION Time!!!!

Well it's here. The time has arrived. In just 36 short hours, I will be on my way to Chicago to catch a place to Portland, OR- my hometown. Let me tell you, I am THRILLED! All my hard work has definitely paid off. I made sure not to slack on my workouts and my diet has been REALLY good these last few weeks. These things have put me solidly into my Size 10 Cache dress! Even better, I am actually excited to wear it!

After my weigh in this weekend, I lost another 3.4 lbs and my new weigh loss total is 84.4 lbs! Woo hoo! It's completely surreal. A fellow weight watcher friend today even asked me if I was close to my goal weight. I had to stop and think because until now, my only goal was to wear that dress for the wedding. So, now what am I going to do?

Realistically I don't know how much more weight I will lose. I am 166.2 lbs. I am comfortably wearing a size 10 Dress, slacks, and Medium shirts. Even my workout clothing is size medium. Will I ever be a small or in essence, COULD I be a small or SHOULD I be a small? In my mind, I just want to keep doing what I am doing healthfully until I stop losing weight. My healthy weight from my doctor is 160, but if you look at
"standards" of weight, then I should weigh between 120-159 depending on my frame. If I got to 120, I think I'd look like a skeleton.

Overall, I am so thrilled with the progress and so happy with how I feel. My knees don't hurt. My back doesn't hurt. I don't have to take Blood Pressure Medication. I also don't have heartburn everyday, in fact haven't had it for months now! The sheer health reasons of my weight loss are solid enough, but the way I FEEL about myself, now that's the true reward.

I only wish I would have started this journey sooner. Even looking back over the last 14 months, I wish I would have started working out sooner. Maybe I'd be down another 10-15 lbs? BUT I cannot dwell on that. My new lifestyle allows me to eat healthfully, but also have the occasional splurge.

Pictures to come from the wedding. Watch our Oregon, here I come!

My beautiful hometown....

Things happen sometimes.

First off, let me share I had a bad weekend last weekend. Now I don't need to go into it because this isn't that kind of a blog. However, let me tell you, my life changed pretty quick and I was sad and upset. There's nothing that can prepare you for when a massive change occurs in your life. Things happen sometimes. Life is messy. It's how you handle that "thing" which truly shows what kind of person you are. Or in my case, what kind of person I have become.

My journey has been a long, difficult one. I never thought losing weight could be so hard, but yet so rewarding. It doesn't mean I don't miss my days of being able to eat whatever I wanted (then feel guilty about it, and then eat more). In fact, I do get tired of being so attentive to my food consuming.  Looking in the mirror isn't painful. Trying on clothing doesn't make me want to cry. I am just so much happier with myself. Overall, I am doing really well. Until this weekend.

Episode occurs and I am devastated. Life had definitely thrown me a curve ball. That being said, my kids are perfectly safe and healthy. After this curve ball, there was a part of me that almost went into a downward spiral of eating. I thought about going to the local diner and getting a cheeseburger and fries. Oh, and probably a shake. Oh, and they have brownies and other treats there too, so maybe one or two of those. I deserve it, I've worked hard, right? OK, so yes, I do deserve an occasional treat. But, this wasn't going to be just one little splurge. It would have been a big one. AND hard to recover from.

It took taking a step back and looking at myself inwardly. All the little changes I've made have accumulated into a whole new lifestyle. One year ago I would have eaten all that food and then some. My feelings were always a big contributor to my over eating. My emotions would also keep me hiding out in my room under the covers, too tired to make a change.

This time, I took the issue in stride. I ate my lunch and I even worked out after it. I didn't undo 14 months of hard work just because I felt sad or upset. It was almost empowering. How things have changed....

Turtle Sundae Makeover - little changes!

Someone asked me today, "What do you miss eating most now that you've changed your lifestyle?" That question definitely got me thinking. My eating habits have changed drastically in the last 13 months. Pretty much everything I knew then, doesn't apply to what I know now. I think the best things about my new lifestyle, thanks to Weight Watchers (and no they don't pay me to say this) is that I can still eat ANYTHING. You heard me, anything! It's all about what I want to sacrifice or if I want to work harder to have it.

Sweets are where it's at for me. They are my weakness. Not necessarily sugary sweet, like nerds or sprees, but chocolaty sweets! Even better chocolate and salty sweets. A turtle sundae was pretty much a weekly occurrence before I changed my lifestyle. A Culver's Turtle Sundae has a whopping 60 grams of Fat, 98 Carbs, and 900 calories. It's 27 points on the Weight Watchers plan. To put it in perspective, I get 27 points per day. So to eat this one Turtle Sundae, I would use ALL of my points for the day. Probably not going to be a wise choice. Looking back, it's not surprising how I gained my weight.

Since makeover shows are such a success and it's a trendy thing to do. I've discovered a variety of ways to makeover my favorite foods to be more figure friendly. Since these sundaes are something I have been missing, I found a way to make and enjoy this delicious treat for a lot less points. It's still a mini splurge, but it can easily be accounted for and not considered a "slip up"!

Here's Michelle's Turtle Sundae:

1/2 cup Breyers No Sugar Added Ice Cream (2 pts)
2 T. Hershey's Lite Syrup (1 pt)
1 T. Caramel (1 pt)
1 T. Chopped Pecans (1 pt)
2 T. Redi Whip (FREE)

Total Points: 5
Difference in 22 POINTS!

It's a small sundae, but it gives me the satisfaction of what I am craving. In addition, if I do my workout, I can trade out those points and still keep my remaining daily points. It's awesome! Making little changes will help me to achieve my goals.

For my next makeover I'll tackle a BIG, JUICY, Cheeseburger. That's another one I really miss. I've been working on some delicious alternatives. Keep an eye out for that share!

To update you all, the wedding is exactly 2 weeks away, I am 81.2 lbs lighter and only 19.4 lbs away from my Goal weight! Woo Hoo!! AND I bought my first pair of Size 10 capris in 15 years!

A day in my life

When I realized I needed to do something about my weight and I wrote how it all happened I would have ever guessed I'd be here 13 months later and still battling. Every day I work on integrating the little changes into my lifestyle which will help me be an overall healthy, happy mommy.

This weekend I will be competing in the Warrior Dash and my schedule is so hectic right now. The positive for competing in this event is that it has kept me busy. In looking at my day I cannot comprehend how I do this each and every day....Here's a look at my daily routine (when my husband is out of town).

4:45 am: Wake up
4:50-6:00 am: Work out at home (Zumba, Elliptical, Just Dance, etc.)
6:00 am: Shower, get dressed, do hair, and makeup
6:30 am: Myles walks into the room ( make sure he goes potty, get out his clothes, get him dressed, put on Disney)
6:45 am: Get Joel out of crib. Get dressed and take to kitchen. Turn on Disney give cereal and milk to boys.
6:50 am: Make lunch, put away dishes, do dishes from night before, etc.
7:05 am: OUT the door, any later and I am late for work!
7:40 am: Drop off boys at Daycare
8:00 am: Arrive to work
8-5 pm: Too much to account for during the day, but usually 3-4 meetings/appts. & lunch at my desk
5:00 pm: Leave work
5:30 pm: Pick up kiddos
6:05 pm: Arrive Home
6:10 pm: Cook Dinner! May take 20-30 minutes, can be prepped as fast as 4 minutes; last night I made ham/cheese tortilla roll ups, carrots & ranch, and 1/2 banana each! Voila- 4 min dinner :-)
6:45 pm: BATH Time. Usually I can bathe both boys at the same time, but lately we are having some new issues with pee pee discovery from Joel and Myles- Great! Just what I needed! Also, an argument ensues if I put Joel into the bath before Myles....
7:00 pm: Joel Bed Time- sing Three Little Birds
7:05 pm: Myles gets ONE TV show- Caillou or Special Agent Oso usually (I sometimes jump onto the elliptical here if I went out to lunch that day)
7:35 pm: 2 stories (Monster's University and Cory the Combine- ALWAYS those 2 stories) then about a million kisses.
8:00 pm: Laundry, cleaning, etc. Maybe some TV time.
9:30 pm: Go to Bed

Next day, wake up and do it all over again! Thankfully, my hubby isn't gone all the time. It's a rough week. It's been a tough month. With Wedding date looming and the dress hanging on my closet door I don't have time to be tired. I actually feel like I have MORE energy lately. Is that weird?

IT FITS!!

Again, 13 months ago this schedule would have been not only unlikely for me, but impossible! Making little changes and setting goals is helping me. It's still not easy, every day is a battle, but I am getting better. And happier, too :-) Oh and look what I put on this morning....totally WORTH IT!

Image Distortion- too skinny, too fat, or just right?

I remember when I was 17, my parents saved enough money to let me go to Europe for my Graduation gift. (Thanks, Dad and Mom!) There's a picture of me in my photo album from that trip, (YES, that was when we actually printed out pictures and created an entire book for an event) and I remember thinking when I looked at it, "Wow. I look fat." There I was in a bikini, at age 17 and I weighed 135 lbs. I Look fat??? Are you kidding me? Part of me wishes I would have known that I was then the thinnest I would be for the next 18 years....

However, it got me thinking. When I was gaining weight through my 20's, it never seemed as bad as it was. Every photo taken of me, I would notice the pooch of my stomach or the rolls over the side of my pants. I always thought "Ugh. I look fat." It didn't matter if I was 135 lbs or 275 lbs pregnant. I always looked big in my mind. So was it since I always looked fat, why didn't I realize how BIG I was truly getting? Did I have a distorted image of how I really looked?

I didn't put on 115 lbs over just a few years. It took 15 years for me to add that to my frame. WHY didn't I see it? Was it so gradual that I never noticed it? Cause let me tell you, I look back now at that photo of me when I was 17 and think, "DAMN! I look GOOOOOD." Why wasn't I happy then?

Even worse and I hate to admit this, but there have been instances I have been secretly happy when other people I knew gained weight. Other times I was extremely jealous of people who lost weight, wishing it were me. Isn't that AWFUL? People have told me as I continue to lose weight, other people will tell me. "You look too thin" or "You need to stop losing weight". Is that their jealousy? Is it their insecurities? Did I ever say that to someone? Surely, there's gotta be some part of me who can just be happy?

Thinking back, there's has never been a time in my life when I have been 100% happy with my weight. Isn't that sad? I've always wanted to look better or be thinner. I truly want to be happy with myself and there's a part of me that is fearful I may never be satisfied with my appearance. However, I am certainly on my way and trying. Right now, I look at pictures, like one of me taken last week at a work even and think, "I look better, but I am not there....yet". This whole process of losing weight is HARD, it's REALLY hard. It's frustrating and it's a daily battle to make the right choices. All my little changes are adding up and they're making me a different person. It just takes time.

It's already been 1 year. A year of life change and realizations. I'm happier now, but not completely satisfied. As my weight loss has slowed down, I have picked up my workouts. I've been doing 3 times per week the last month and this week I've added a Wed workout. Doing Just Dance - Greatest Hits. It's incredible! It's the workout of Zumba but to really fun songs! I was definitely jamming to "I've got the Power" by Snap. Very fun! I highly recommend.

Here's hoping you look in the mirror today and like what you see, but if you don't, do something about it. Don't blame others, don't get jealous, don't start a journey for anyone, but do it for YOU. Let's take these distorted images away, replace them with a smiling face, and get back to, "DAMN, I look GOOOOOD!"

Touching....

A friend of mine posted this to Facebook. It's from a blog and I don't know who wrote it, but I feel it's well written and amazing. Wanted to share:

Posted on May 11, 2013 by admin

The Invisible Mother

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’

Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? 

Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’

Some days I’m a crystal ball; ‘Where’s my other sock? Where’s my phone?, What’s for dinner?’

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, and she’s gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: ‘With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’

In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. 

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’ 

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was Almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.
No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. 

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he’d say, ‘You’re gonna love it there…’ 

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

—Anonymous

Making changes- It's the Final Countdown!

Da da da da, da da da da da da ....If you know the song  or if you are an Arrested Development fan (it's GOB's entry music). Hard to sing or illustrate music on a blog.

Wedding is T minus 5 weeks away. I am averaging 1.4 lbs lost per week. This only leaves me 5 weeks. That would = 7 lbs. Making my new total lost 82.2 lbs. I've decided to step it up.

I'm not sure if I mentioned but while in Vegas, I bought my dress for the wedding. I bought it a size smaller than I am now. It's a size 10! It was my initial goal to buy a dress from Cache that was a size 10 (I changed it to 8 at one point, but my original goal was a 10). SO, needless to say I have the size 10 hanging in my closet as I type.

So here's how I am going to accomplish this:

1. Scheduling my activity. I've put calendar invites onto my phone for Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I never ignore meetings or anything on my calendar, so it makes me motivated to complete them.

2. Set my alarm and MAKE SURE I get up. My alarm goes off at 5:10 am on Tue and Thu. If I don't get up right away, I will snuggle back into my warm bed and sleep for another hour. By making sure I am in bed by 10 pm .This gets me a solid 7 hours of sleep and I have been getting up without too much inner battle. Besides, my mind usually starts racing and I feel guilty if I try to go back to sleep. I also hung my dress where I see it lying in bed and it reminds me "GET OUT OF BED! You have to wear me in a few weeks."

3. Vary My activity. Keep 100% on my Active Link. My goal is 5 points per day. Weekly is 35. I am usually close. My workouts include:

Zumba: My goal is to do 2 - 45 minute sessions a week and then 1- 20 minute session. Sometimes Myles wakes up early and I have to cut my workout short. Sometimes, I just don't feel like doing it, to be honest! I wrap it up and 20 minutes and call that at least I did something day!

Eliptical: I jump on the elliptical when I am having a hard time being motivated. It's also an awesome time to watch shows on my DVR which my husband refuses to watch. Such as Master Chef or Drop Dead Diva. Usually I am into the show and they are about 50 minutes without commercials, so I don't stop until they're over.

Free Weights: Ok, so I am a wimp. I've only been using 5 or 8 lb weights. Again, something is better than nothing. I do side bends, tricep curls, bicep curls, and over the head stuff. My arms aren't getting buff per se, but a little more toned. People keep telling me to do Push Ups. I am not good at those....

4. Sticking to my points. As I've continued to lose weight, what was once easy to eat 35 points a day, has now come to 27 points per day. It doesn't seem like much at 8 points per day, but that is equivalent to almost another meal. Counting every point is crucial. If I "forget" to add something to my daily tracker, I am only hurting myself. I have to remind myself of that....

Making these little changes are all helping me towards getting into this dress. I am working on more Goals- as my dad tells me, "A Goal is just a dream with a timeline." And since he started all of this with his wisdom when I was younger I'll keep listening to him. Thanks, Daddy!

What weighs 75 lbs? Now that I'm 75 lbs less

I completely stole this from another blog, but I think it is fitting as I am now 75 lbs. lighter.... That's right! Milestone #4 celebrated at Weight Watchers. They are as follows

#1:  10% lost
#2: 25 lbs lost
#3: 50 lbs lost
#4: 75 lbs lost

1) Average Alaskan Malamute Husky Dog
2) Average Weight of 11 year old boy
3) 100 cans of Beer
4) 12 1/2 red bricks
5) 300 Sticks of Butter (which I've probably avoided eating in the last year!)

Now onto my next milestone #5: 100 lbs!

I. Am. So. Sore....

Up at the top!

Hiking? Sure, let's go hiking. 4 words I never would have thought would be coming out of my mouth on a beautiful Saturday morning. After 35 minutes of packing sunscreen, extra changes of clothing, 2 pb & j sandwiches, carrots, grapes, waters, and juice we were on our way. We stopped at Subway and got parent sandwiches, His- Seafood club or something (lots of mayo)& Mine- Turkey Bacon Avocado- 10 points. We settled into a picnic area at Lapham Peak. We ate our lunch quickly, but peacefully and without incident. Then we started to climb....Here we are at the top and again at the bottom.

The stairs weren't too bad- it was the fact I had a 3.5 year old climbing up these monstrous stairs and all I could see was him slipping and falling. Mommy had some pretty severe anxiety.... After we finished the stairs, we went to a nice, easy trail that had a lot of shade. It was only about 2 miles, but it felt longer. We had our little buggy and we finally got an exhausted Myles (my 3.5 yr old) to ride with his brother instead of walking. 

A long way up with little guys.

After the hike, we were pretty tired, so we went home and played outside until it was dark. I grilled up some steaks and baked potatoes. There was a special on Beef Tenderloin so I bought one. The best thing about a good Beef Tenderloin is it's simple to control the amount of filet you eat. I cut off the first piece and weighed it on my scale- 6.5 oz (Daddy's steak), next piece 5.0 oz (my piece- ends up around 3 oz cooked- 7 pts.) and a 4 oz for Myles. I used my handy dandy Weight Watcher Oil Sprayer which is perfect for the grill! Overall, a delicious meal accompanied by a side salad loaded with veggies. It felt like we were having a fancy restaurant meal at home- for WAY cheaper and WAY less points! Love this grilling weather!

So, you'd think a hike on Saturday would be enough for me, no, it wasn't. Upon waking on Sunday I wasn't feeling sore yet. I decided after I put the little guy down, I'd do some gardening. I pulled weeds for about 2 hours. Bending down, standing up, bending down, standing up. Oh Boy, I am feeling  it today!

Yikes! I can hardly move. You know that feeling where you feel like you are 100 years old. Can't even sit on the toilet without saying "OUCH"? That's me today....

One Year Ago....

Joel was 3 weeks old here- I was more than 250 lbs.

One Year Ago, my son was 6 weeks old.
Today, he is 13 months and walking all over the place.

One Year Ago, my weight tipped the scales at 250.6 lbs.
Today, I weigh 175.4 pounds. (I got this news at my weigh in! Get my award next week)

One Year Ago, I ate fast food 3-4 times a week.
Today, I have not had any fast food since 7/13/12.

One Year Ago, an average meal was Chicken Fried Steak, Mashed Potatoes, Corn (with butter and cream) and a roll. (prob 22 points or so)
Today, 3 turkey tacos (ground turkey breast) on corn tortillas, sliced avocado, lettuce piled on and 1/4 cup beans (11 points)

One Year Ago, working out was walking up the stairs from the basement.
Today, I did 45 minutes of Zumba and free weights for 10 minutes.

One Year Ago, I hated to look in the mirror and felt disgusted with myself.
Today, I admit, I check myself out and am happy with my progress.

One year ago, my husband was head over heels in love with me, but I didn't love myself.
Today, my husband is STILL head over heels in love with me, but I am learning to love myself.

New "do" for a new me! 175 lbs

Oh, what changes a year can bring. It's eye opening and a revelation to think how far I've come. I'm not yet to my goal, I have about 20-25 lbs left to go. However, when I think back to when I started I was afraid I wouldn't lose 20 lbs, let alone 50, and wow, now 75! Why not make it a cool 100??? Let's do this!