Thursday, August 15, 2013

Things happen sometimes.

First off, let me share I had a bad weekend last weekend. Now I don't need to go into it because this isn't that kind of a blog. However, let me tell you, my life changed pretty quick and I was sad and upset. There's nothing that can prepare you for when a massive change occurs in your life. Things happen sometimes. Life is messy. It's how you handle that "thing" which truly shows what kind of person you are. Or in my case, what kind of person I have become.

My journey has been a long, difficult one. I never thought losing weight could be so hard, but yet so rewarding. It doesn't mean I don't miss my days of being able to eat whatever I wanted (then feel guilty about it, and then eat more). In fact, I do get tired of being so attentive to my food consuming.  Looking in the mirror isn't painful. Trying on clothing doesn't make me want to cry. I am just so much happier with myself. Overall, I am doing really well. Until this weekend.

Episode occurs and I am devastated. Life had definitely thrown me a curve ball. That being said, my kids are perfectly safe and healthy. After this curve ball, there was a part of me that almost went into a downward spiral of eating. I thought about going to the local diner and getting a cheeseburger and fries. Oh, and probably a shake. Oh, and they have brownies and other treats there too, so maybe one or two of those. I deserve it, I've worked hard, right? OK, so yes, I do deserve an occasional treat. But, this wasn't going to be just one little splurge. It would have been a big one. AND hard to recover from.

It took taking a step back and looking at myself inwardly. All the little changes I've made have accumulated into a whole new lifestyle. One year ago I would have eaten all that food and then some. My feelings were always a big contributor to my over eating. My emotions would also keep me hiding out in my room under the covers, too tired to make a change.

This time, I took the issue in stride. I ate my lunch and I even worked out after it. I didn't undo 14 months of hard work just because I felt sad or upset. It was almost empowering. How things have changed....